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October 24, 2012

Wezen-Ball

A Few World Series Predictions

by Larry Granillo

These things will happen over the course of the World Series this year:

  • A famous recording artist will sing the national anthem. It will be no better than any national anthem you would have heard in Denver or Minneapolis in August.
  • Justin Verlander will strike a lot of batters out.
  • Marco Scutaro will be called "gritty".
  • Prince Fielder will hit a ball really far and nearly fall over while doing so.
  • The first time Buster Posey gets an extra-base hit, the announcers will say that he is finally back to his old self.
  • Cast members of Fox's "The Mindy Project" or "Ben and Kate" will be sitting about ten or so rows above one of the dugouts in at least one game. A Tigers or Giants hat will be on the head of at least one of them.
  • Miguel Cabrera will make a nice play at third base. Tigers fans will say, "See? We told you he was pretty good over there!"
  • Miguel Cabrera will make a bad play at third base. Baseball fans will say, "See? He's even worse than we thought he was over there!"
  • You will see the replay of Hunter Pence's "three-hit basehit" at least a dozen times.
  • Brian Wilson will dance in the dugout while wearing an absurd beard.
  • You will be annoyed at Bruce Springsteen singing "This traiiiiin!!"
  • You will laugh at Andre Dawson saying "What year is it?"
  • Some announcer will make the case for Miguel Cabrera as MVP over Mike Trout. That same announcer will also make the case for Buster Posey as MVP over Ryan Braun.
  • Someone in a weird hat will sing "God Bless America" at AT&T Park. Fans will ask aloud "Why are they singing this again?"
  • AT&T Park will be rocking with 40,000 fans who paid hundreds of dollars per ticket (and likely traveled hundreds or thousands of miles) every night.
  • Comerica Park will be rocking with 40,000 fans who paid hundreds of dollars per ticket (and likely traveled hundreds or thousands of miles) every night.
  • Someone will look at the broadcasts' ratings and say that people don't watch baseball anymore.
  • You will hear Journey and be reminded of "The Sopranos".
  • The Tigers will win at least one blowout.
  • The Giants will win at least one game in their final at-bat.
  • Writers and broadcasters will get overly excited by Matt Cain or Justin Verlander taking a no-hitter into the fifth inning.
  • Sadly, there will be no games featuring Bengal tigers chained to a stake in the ground just past the foul lines. Word is still out on giants in the AT&T Park outfield.
  • Willie Mays and Al Kaline will feature prominently in the pre-game festivities of one game at their home ballparks.
  • Miguel Cabrera will hit the ball really hard.
  • The Giants will win the Series in six games.

What are your predictions for the World Series?

8 comments have been left for this article.

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Premium Article Playoff Prospectus: NL... (10/23)
<< Previous Column
Wezen-Ball: The Hooded... (10/22)
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Wezen-Ball: Reminder: ... (10/26)
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Premium Article Collateral Damage Dail... (10/24)

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