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July 26, 2012

Punk Hits

The Goblins & Gauntlets Monster Manual, MLB Expansion Pack: Position Players, Vol. 1

by Ian Miller

Thank you for purchasing this Monster Manual MLB Expansion Pack. This edition features dozens of position players guaranteed to breathe new life into your G&G adventures.

(Your purchase also gives you access to the MLB Expansion Pack: Pitchers, Vol. 1 -- absolutely free!) 

Ichiro Suzuki
Small Construct
Hit Dice: 12d12
Special Attacks: Cannon Arm, Otherworldly Bat Control
Alignment: Lawful Good/Lawful Evil

Ichiro was transported to this dimension ages ago and has tormented pitchers with his bat and hitters with his arm and glove ever since. His 18 Dexterity grants him three attacks per round, and his small frame belies his great strength. Legend has it that Ichiro traveled across the continent and sold his soul for an opportunity to become immortal. In doing so he switched from Lawful Good to Lawful Evil; his alignment in your game will depend on whether your characters encounter him before or after his conversion to Yankeedom.

Spell-like ability: Once a year Ichiro can cast a Profanity-laden All-Star Game Speech which grants a +8 morale bonus to his companions, while opponents must make a Will saving throw.

Jose Bautista
Medium-Size Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice: 6d10 + 19
Special Attacks: Big Fly, Death Stare
Alignment: Chaotic Good

Like fellow right fielder Ichiro, Bautista is deceptively strong. But whereas Ichiro says he could hit 69 home runs if he wanted, Bautista does it. The thing is, no one knows exactly how he does it. He seems to have achieved divinity through some method (see “Earned Divinity,” Appendix III), possibly by meeting the challenge of or defeating some little-known god. One day he appeared to be a mere mortal, and the next he was one of the most fearsome hitters known to man. Not even the most reverend clerics in the land can sufficiently explain it.

Bautista has many devoted followers, especially across the frozen tundras of Kanata. He chooses to communicate directly with his many worshippers using Twitter spells, obviating the need for an organized clergy. According to legend, “once he puts the ball out of its misery he gives the nearest opposing player a death stare until he turns to stone.”¹ Blue Jays forever, indeed.