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July 3, 2012

BP Unfiltered

Cussin' in the Boys Room

by Jason Wojciechowski

Word has come down that Ozzie Guillen engaged in a "profanity-laced tirade" because his pitchers did not pitch well. Newspapers are squeamish about this sort of thing, so I worked the phones tirelessly tonight to find out exactly which profanities our dear Ozzie laced his speech with. A list:

  • cow-bungling boon-nozzle
  • son of a shinguard Franzen-lover
  • cat-poaching sweat-frog
  • pants-wearing stink-tree
  • Mingus-chanting master-craftsman
  • hair-bagging murder-balladeer

Multiple sources independently confirmed each of these cusses.

Jason Wojciechowski is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Jason's other articles. You can contact Jason by clicking here

Related Content:  Ozzie Guillen,  Cussing

4 comments have been left for this article. (Click to hide comments)

BP Comment Quick Links

TGT969

Wow Jason. How long did this take? Will Ozzie mention Richard Ford or
John Coltrane in his next spew of vitrol?

Jul 04, 2012 08:19 AM
rating: 2
 
BP staff member Jason Wojciechowski
BP staff

My journalistic standards are high—making sure that each quote was exactly right took a lot of phone calls and checking. One person, and I won't say who, swore up and down that Ozzie said "Lethem" instead of "Franzen." I'm pretty sure dude had an agenda.

Jul 04, 2012 11:07 AM
 
Richard Bergstrom

Hey, I love Franzen...

Jul 04, 2012 14:00 PM
rating: 1
 
clete6
(577)

I thought I heard "coprophagic microcephaloid".

Jul 05, 2012 07:50 AM
rating: 0
 
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