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RED SOX EMPLOYEES: PAST, PRESENT, AND NEARLY

"Any time a billionaire asks you for my phone number, go ahead and give it to him. I'll sort things out later."
Bill James, Red Sox consultant, responding to Rob Neyer giving James' phone number to Sox owner John Henry

"John Henry and the Red Sox were great to me. They were willing to pay me more money than I could believe. But it's more than money, I've never been about money. I made one decision based on money in my life–when I signed with the Mets rather than go to Stanford–and I promised I'd never do it again."
Billy Beane, Athletics general manager, on turning down an offer to join the Red Sox

"I love Boston. It's a unique franchise, and that's where I told (Oakland owner) Steve Schott there was the one place I would leave to go to. But I love the A's. My fingerprint is everywhere here, and Steve has been so great in the process allowing me the opportunity to talk to Boston, I realize I'm fortunate here."
–Beane

"I'm a little demoralized…because I know that I've got the best stuff that's out there."
Mike Gimbel, former Red Sox consultant, on his lack of employment in a Major League front office

"I don't think there's anybody out there who can match what I have. So yeah, since I've actually done it in Montreal and Boston, I'm totally convinced that I could go to Milwaukee and get them to at least challenge .500, right out of the box."
–Gimbel

KONICHIWA

"It's not as different as you would think. It's pretty Westernized. A lot of people over there, especially now, speak English. It's not all just raw fish and kimonos."
Derek Lee, Marlins outfielder, on Major League Baseball's recent tour of Japan

"We have all nationalities playing baseball. It's finally come full circle. It's been a long time coming and everyone should enjoy it and be proud of it because this is what baseball is meant to be."
Barry Bonds, Giants outfielder

LURING GODZILLA

"That's what everyone thinks Bernie and I are doing, that we're on this 007 mission and meeting with Matsui and taking him out to strip joints. But I begged him to let us go. I was on the tour four years ago and I loved it. So I went in there to him and said, 'C'mon Boss, let's go. It's a lot of fun.'"
Jason Giambi, Yankee infielder

"But I'm sure maybe something other than (having fun) was involved."
–Giambi

"It's easy to homer during spring training, but for some reason it doesn't work that way during the regular season. Matsui should keep that in mind."
Tsuyoshi Shinjo, Giants outfielder

"Learning English is not a necessity for Japanese players. There could be a lot of hassles from the media if you actually understand everything they say."
–Shinjo

APPARENTLY PETER ANGELOS HAS NEVER HEARD OF THE S.F. BAY AREA

"If you put a team in the Washington area, it would make it impossible for either team [Baltimore or Washington] to generate the revenues to be competitive in the divisions in which they play."
Peter Angelos, Orioles owner, on the possibility of moving the Expos to the District of Columbia

"Locating a team in Washington or Northern Virginia would cripple the Orioles. You wouldn't put a team next to St. Louis…or another team in Boston. Or Atlanta. It would be foolish and unwarranted. I am asking that good sense prevail."
–Angelos

"Washington has the Capitol. It has the White House, Congress, the Smithsonian. It has the government office, museums and the Mall. What else does it want?"
–Angelos

"My position [on relocation] is well known to the commissioner as well as all the other owners. I talk about [relocation] with anybody who will listen. The commissioner of baseball, whether it's Bud Selig or anybody else, is committed to acting in the best interests of baseball."
–Angelos

HOME PARKS

"In Minnesota, you can't see the ball coming out of the roof and the artificial turf stinks. I hate the Metrodome."
Torii Hunter, Twins center fielder

"I heard a lot of great things about Philadelphia."
Jim Thome, Indians first baseman, who's obviously never seen an Eagles game before

"Everybody knows it's an offensive park. I just kind of expect the worst and hope for the best. If you give up five runs and win 7-5, you have to be as happy as you'd be with a two-hit shutout somewhere else. You can't worry about your ERA, your stats, your hits or anything like that because it's going to be high."
Jason Jennings, Rockies pitcher, on Coors Field

LIFE IN LA-LA LAND

"The Rally Monkey started out as a whimsical, lighthearted in-stadium promotional vehicle. It was not intended nor was it ever expected to be something you could make money off of."
Rick Schlesinger, Angels' attorney

"There is a common misconception that we are trying to corner the markets on monkeys…You can always buy a stuffed monkey. Whether you buy it from us or at a local store, we welcome it. What we are trying to protect is the use of the term 'Rally Monkey.' "
–Schlesinger

"We're so well-balanced that it would be pretty tough to improve the balance of this club. It would be pretty tough to improve the chemistry. And we're well-talented at so many positions, that it's pretty much an ideal position to be in. You always should say you can improve, but I'm not sure I'd point to an area right now."
Bill Stoneman, Angels general manager

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE…

"(Gord Ash) is a tremendous administrator who brings a wealth of baseball experience as well as a strong background in the Dominican Republic, an area the Toronto Blue Jays were leaders in during the late 1980s and early '90s…Gord is a creative individual who has exceptional problem-solving abilities as well as great communication skills."
Doug Melvin, Brewers general manager

THE REST

"The guy's got more Cy Young Awards than fingers."
Larry Lucchino, Red Sox CEO, on free agent and six-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens

"Power isn't a priority–this is a steal, hit-and-run type of club. If we get power, fine. I don't see a lot of power out there."
Pat Gillick, Mariners general manager

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