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March 26, 2012

Wezen-Ball

The Miami Home Run Machine

by Larry Granillo

This video has been making the rounds this morning, but that's only because it is the greatest thing ever:

For those who don't know, this is the new home run structure the Miami Marlins have installed in centerfield of their new ballpark. Every time Giancarlo Stanton or Hanley Ramirez or any other Marlin hits a home run, the structure will perform the dance you see in that video. I would imagine a Gloria Estefan version of "The Natural" theme music will play over the stadium's speakers as it dances, but we'll have to wait until the baseball season starts to know for sure.

Dave Brown of Yahoo! Sports describes the contraption as the "unwanted zombie lovechild of a pinball machine, a carnival roller coaster and a diabolical cuckoo clock." His reaction - while much more colorfully said than everyone else - is pretty common. In short, this Miami Home Run Machine is not very popular. I say that's rubbish! This promises to be one of the more memorable and fun home run celebrations in all of baseball, right behind Bernie Brewer's slide and Billy Beane's desk throw.

One last thing: this video does a poor job of translating just how massive the structure is. Though it looks like it could be somewhere in the 10-to-15 foot tall range, the new display is much closer to 30-to-35 feet tall. Look at the three construction workers below, basically standing one on top of the other. They only cover half the height! That's roughly 18 feet of hard hats and visibility vests, and you could easily fit two or three more workers under them. The new Marlins obviously subscribe to the "Go big or go home" look on life. I'm not complaining.

UPDATE: If you're wondering how the display might look with music playing in the background, watch the Marlins sound test here, with songs such as the "Magnum P.I." theme, the "Mad Men" theme, and the Star Wars Cantina Band playing over the show.

15 comments have been left for this article.

<< Previous Article
Pebble Hunting: The Me... (03/23)
<< Previous Column
Wezen-Ball: Marty McFl... (03/21)
Next Column >>
Wezen-Ball: Miami's So... (03/27)
Next Article >>
Resident Fantasy Geniu... (03/26)

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