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September 27, 2011

Wezen-Ball

No Stats Allowed

by Larry Granillo

A conversation between the author and his imaginary friend, Jay Whitman. Jay is not a fan of sabermetrics or advanced stats of any kind. We enter as the author, in a spirit of contrarianism, challenges Jay to explain why Reggie Jackson was a better player than Adam Dunn.

LG: Come on, this should be easy. Reggie's a Hall of Famer. Mr. October. Reggie Bars! Adam Dunn's just some guy who couldn't get a decent contract two years ago who (supposedly) hates baseball.

JW: Dunn? Come on, he's the worst player in baseball this year.

LG: Ignore 2011 for a minute. We're talking Reggie vs. Adam Dunn. It shouldn't be too hard to say why Reggie is better than even the 2010 version of Dunn.

JW: Alright, alright. Let's see, where d-

LG: One other thing: no stats. You're a big "no stats" kind of guy. Tell me why Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson - Mr. October! - is better than Adam Dunn without any stats.

JW: Uh... ok. Sure. Why not. Reggie is, pure and simple, one of the greatest power hitters of all-time. Ask anyone who watched baseball during Reggie career. When he stepped up to the plate, you knew he was hitting a home run.

LG: Well, a home run or a strikeout...

JW: Sure, a home run or a strikeout. But the strikeouts didn't matter when he was hitting 563 home -

LG: BUZZ!

JW: runs and three home runs -

LG: BUZZ!

JW: in Game 6... What the &*#% was that?

LG: The "Big Obnoxious Buzzer". I'm going to ring it every time you cite a stat.

JW: What? 563 home runs? That's not a stat.

LG: BUZZ!

JW: ...

LG: Are you an idiot?

JW: Okay, fine. No stats. Reggie's still obviously better than Dunn.

LG: How?

JW: Have you ever seen a Reggie Jackson home run? I'm pretty sure they invented the word "moonshot" for Reggie.

LG: Have you ever seen an Adam Dunn home run? The guy knows how to do three things: strikeout, make hilarious errors in the field, and hit the ball about three miles at a time. He doesn't do much else.

JW: Fine. But what has he done in the postseason?

LG: What's Reggie done in the postseason?

JW: What?! This is Reggie. Mr. October. He destroys the postseason. He batted over .350 in the -

LG: BUZZ!

JW: World Series with four straight home -

LG: BUZZ!

JW: runs for the Yankees. Four World Series rings.

LG: I'll give you that. But, come on, is it really Dunn's fault he played for some really, really crappy teams?

JW: Well, if Dunn was so good, they wouldn't have been so crappy, wouldn't they? Reggie was on a bunch of great teams for a reason.

LG: Ah, is that it?

JW: Not a coincidence, I'll tell you that.

LG: … So what makes Reggie "one of the greatest sluggers of all-time"?

JW: That power. All those home runs. Those RBIs. He has something like 1700 RBIs -

LG: BUZZ! - C'mon, Jay.

JW: Fine... The power, the homers, the RBIs, that humongous swing.

LG: But how is that different than Dunn?

JW: Well, look at when they were hitting home runs. When Reggie played, he'd lead the league with -

LG: BUZZ!

JW: What the hell, man!

LG: That's a stat!

JW: Well -

LG: Listen. Is your entire argument that Reggie hit a lot of home runs with a bunch of RBIs and was really good in the World Series? Because, honestly, that's not very convincing.

JW: It's more than that. You have to watch the games. Reggie was better.

LG: Sure, sure. I know. You just can't tell me why.

Related Content:  Reggie Jackson

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