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September 12, 2010

BP Unfiltered

Why the Padres do not have a bad offense, in sonnet form

by Colin Wyers

 

The Padres score four and a quarter runs

Over a regulation baseball game

But in the National League the other ones

Score around four and a third in the same

 

But now, are Friars batsmen all to blame?

Some simple research will clearly show

Not every team’s home park is quite the same.

So there’s another fact we need to know.

 

From Two-thousand eight to Two-thousand ten

Petco had a park factor of point eight three

Just halve the effect (for road parks) and then

A park factor of point nine two, you see.

 

So home in Petco a league average squad

Scores but four runs a game – now that’s just odd.

 

(Methodological notes: The sonnet is in the Shakespearean a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g rhyming scheme. All lines are in iambic pentameter - notionally, at least; some feet may be inverted.)

Colin Wyers is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Colin's other articles. You can contact Colin by clicking here

8 comments have been left for this article. (Click to hide comments)

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Mike White

Wow, that was something beyond awesome. Great work, Colin, you had me in stitches.

Sep 12, 2010 01:49 AM
rating: 7
 
BP staff member Bill Baer
BP staff

You know you're going to be expected to write all your future research columns in iambic pentameter too, right? You done goofed.

Sep 12, 2010 06:58 AM
 
Matt Kory

Bill, all criticism should be in hiaku.

Sep 12, 2010 09:23 AM
rating: 7
 
dianagram

Earlier this season, I wrote a recap of an Angels/Yanks game entirely in haiku (to honor Hideki Matsui).

Its fun to try out other forms of writing once in a while. Nice job, Colin!

Sep 12, 2010 09:38 AM
rating: 1
 
dianagram

Here is the link:
http://www.bronxbanterblog.com/2010/04/24/haiku-california/

Sep 12, 2010 09:39 AM
rating: 0
 
Sharky

Nicely played, Colin. Appreciated by fellow nerdsmiths (I mean wordsmiths) everywhere.

Sep 12, 2010 12:01 PM
rating: 1
 
Al Skorupa

FYI, I prefer my poetic baseball information in the form of dirty limericks.

Something to think about.

Sep 12, 2010 20:03 PM
rating: 1
 
SC

You should likely direct this to Kevin Goldstein, as I'm sure he could start the Red Sox's Top 11 prospects list:

There once was a boy from Pawtucket...

Sep 13, 2010 11:03 AM
rating: 2
 
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